I was in the kitchen doing the washing up and my mind went roaming. My mind always go on knock-abouts when I am in the kitchen. That is where I do some real serious reflecting. There is just something about being in the kitchen that sets the mind wandering and bouncing up on all kinds of thoughts, reflections, memories and all them things hovering on the mind and the sub-conscious. And so mine did a rewind on the past year and reflected on some of life’s lessons in my personal life.
Do NOT judge. Never cast judgements on others and their lives. What you see is often a very small fraction of what is real, what is behind closed doors. Don’t assume you know what’s going on, why people make the choices they make or do the things they do.
Two wrongs NEVER make it right. Just like two negatives don’t add up to a positive. If you are in the equation, whether by force, choice or circumstances, you cannot make it right by revenge or a taste of the other’s medicine. Finding a workable solution involves much more. Try a bit of self-restraint, reasoning, forgiveness and a lot of compromise. Understanding is a good one to try as well, but be careful it doesn’t it can lead to a lot of confusion too.
With all your might, and as much energy as you can muster, convert Anger into some other emotion- “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9. It will lodge itself in your throat and it will choke you. It will turn you into the doer of stupid, crazy deeds. I try not to let anger come anywhere near me if I can help it. So as soon as it starts to show its face, head in my direction, for whatever reason, I switch on my converter.
Always assume the position. Put your feet in the other person’s shoes, walk around in them. Feel how they feel, check out how they look. Place yourself in that situation. Even as I say this, I recall with irony, the response I received when I made this request to someone in my life. “But I don’t want to walk in your shoes. I want to walk in mine,” was the response. I was left pondering on this. I thought about it all night, carefully examining this statement. And I totally understood where he was coming from – me putting myself in his shoes there. Why should he wear my shoes? My shoes are too small- they will be squeezing his toes. They are the wrong style. Just the wrong fit. Why ever should he try walking in my shoes when his fit just fine! Hm. Food for thought.
Take one day at a I have never appreciated the song “…one day at a time sweet Jesus…” as I do now. But now I try. I try to take each day as it comes and keep doing the next right thing, one at a time. Tomorrow is promised to no one- no matter how carefully you plan or how much you wish. I take each day as it comes. This means I don’t make any long term plans.
I had no idea what was written for me in the stars, but I rolled with it and went where those journeys directed me. I have had some fantastic experiences, achievements, growth. I have also experienced the biggest humiliation, ridicule, disrespect and insults ever, in all my forty something years on this planet. Yet,
through it all, I have experienced growth. Grown a thicker, tougher layer of skin, callous hands, an iron psyche, yet a kinder, more sensitive heart. I have armed myself with some sturdy emotional amour, to fight my fight. And I fought. I fought for the things that matter to me because sometimes you have to fight. I fought for my home, my companionship, clinging with iron grip to fleeting moments of joy and any goodness I could find. Eradicating the occasional interruptions and regular bouts of madness. But ironically, it is those same things I have fought for which seem bent on destroying the real me.