Just do it

writing stoneSometimes,
I wish I could assess it, analyze it, defragment it, Dissect it
So I could put it together again, figure it
Get it. What they say it should be. How it should be
This whole process. This writing thing
Some need a reason
Some kind of motive. Logic
Some even need a season
When they do it. How. Why
As if everything must have a name
Be labelled. Categorized. Put in a box
But I don’t know
Me, I just go with the flow
I just do the thing
I don’t know about the philosophy of it
All them terms, them rules. Voice
Structure, syntax. The theory of it
I don’t profess to know about the teaching of it
Or claim I was born with it
I don’t fantasize, bullshit or hide behind it
This whole process. This writing thing
I just do it
Whatever comes, however it comes, whenever it comes
I grab and move with it, Inspiration or intention
And I put them down.
All them thoughts, emotions, experiences, stories
I transform them into words
Then I organize them, the words
Put them how I want them. Where I want them
To say what I want to
And that’s all I know
I just go with the flow
And it worries me sometimes you know
The not having a plan, some kind of structure
But it’s what works for me
My writing process, so much me
For my consciousness , free spirit, creativity
For this calm, humble nature
For the freedom to be
And I like it just so
This writing thing
And I give thanks

Expressing emotion

writing stone“Fiction evokes Emotion. Emotion is the glue that pulls all other disparate (and perhaps desperate) elements together,” Sol Stein said. I am editing in layers really…now that it’s down, I am fixing the structure, getting the sensory images right in my descriptions, and facing the challenge of getting the emotions right. How does a child express emotions..how do I get these evoked emotions across? I am taking the advice of T. S. Elliot on this one – trying to find ‘objective correlatives': a set objects, situations, a chain of events – as a formula in getting them across.

Who said this writing thing was easy?

Me this stone

 stone 03You see me this stone

You see how I just sit down here
Kinda round and kinda flat on the top, just so
You see where I position meself – right as you bend the corner after the first back-breaking hill, and just before the next killer hill. You see it up there
You see how ah settle meself right here, so the sun could bathe me through the breadfruit leaves, and then the skinnup could shade me when ah get too hot.
And I position meself right here where people could rest their tired bamsie on me
So I does hear all kinds a thing
And I know them voices and them good good now
The one that does drag he slippers going down the road, he jersey (T-shirt) reaching below he short pants. Sac on he back. Cap on head. Cigarette in hand. He voice husky and deep deep as if it coming out from quite down inside a barrel
And you see that lady across the road there, that look like she supposed to be a nice old lady with she cotton hair, sitting on she veranda? Well all she doing is maccoing the breadfruit tree. Shouting every time she hear a branch move or see a shadow
“Aye! Aye! Who dey in the breadfruit dey
Who you ask for breadfruit? Breadfruit tree is all you own?”
And the damn breadfruit tree is not even hers
The breadfruit and them just falling and making mess in the road
And all the youth man want is a breadfruit, maybe two if he lucky
To put down a likkle pot ah oil down, maybe share with he brethrens
Wash it down with a likkle lime juice. Because times hard. Is a survival

Then the fisherman going down, bucket a bait and fishing line
Telling the school children “mine how you go eh. Walk on the side nuh man.
What! You looking nice today oui!”
And I real like that; how he have time for them children
Later he going up, barracuda, bonita,.a slimy squid- dinner for the family
But it have a woman down the hill there, down in Bluggoe Hallow
Every morning she shouting, Rashooonn! Rashawn! Boy come and sweep the damn yard nuh bwoy. And I didn’t know it still have children who does sweep yard nuh
“Boy you doh going and tie out de blasted sheep.” Then later me neighbour calling hi. “Boy come and move the poor suffering sheep from there nuh. You end see it en getting nottin to eat there!”
And is the same youth man the lady across there had to put in he place the other day, because he too dam fresh up with heself. Seeping and calling her baby, as if them is companion or something. But ah was shock when she tell him how she have children twice he age oui! She en looking so at all!
Now Smallhead by she gate calling, ‘upstairs, upstairs!’ The other day, early early morning, he banging on she window with he broomstick when she didn’t answer him. And ah see he does pass in the back and walk round by the kitchen, and I know the lady doh like that because sometimes she does be walking round just as she born. But he does only charge a dollar a bag, to take garbage down to the bin. Every man have to make a dollar.
But you see how I just sit down here, so I does see all kinds a thing too
And so all kinds a bamsie does sit down on me
You see when them old ladies and them coming up from the beach early early morning, after they make it up Campesh Hill, and they bracing theyself, catching their hell to catch their breath, before they tackle Breakback Hill? Well they does take a likkle break by me here too. And one of them must rest she bamsie down on me
And ah does watch how those youths and them does speed up their car. Pretending they en hear them old ladies begging for a “pull up the hill nuh.”
You think I doesn’t hear all you saying how all you can’t handle these old people and them! But remember, is go they going, but is come all you coming!
And when Broko staggering up from the rum shop, where he had rum for tea, breakfast and dinner, the spirits seeping out from all he pores and them, just before he knock knee knock him down – and I don’t know how he does know when he reach me – but ah does just feel he bony bamsie hit me. Braps! And all I does think is, you better don’t fall and hit you blasted head on me, because ah en want no police come and ask me no question
But hear nuh, the other day when Susan bounce up with Natty, she just spread she big bamsie on me, so ah can’t even breath, much less see. And they start talking about the Church minister who have he wife and children but he still interfering with people girl children. How he too damn nasty for a big man! How he must make a damn jail. And ah know who they talking about good good, because a certain young girl does rest she bamsie on me and wait for a particular CRV to cruise down Breakback Hill. Heh!
And talking about CRV, I thought they say the country hard, how things dread. But I never see so much big brand new shiny cars passing on this road like now. And I wondering where people getting money to buy these cars and them!
And I even see that damn stuipdee ripping down the girl clothes in the road, the other night. Telling her to just give him back he damn clothes! Just because she take a likkle dance with somebody . Boy ah wonder what else he take back when they reach home
Yea man. I does hear and see all kinds a thing
Watch, I does surf the net and all, where you see ah sit down here, watch movie with them youth man and them, when they come and sit down on me to get connection
But you see that damn voice that interfering with me everyday
Telling me why ah doh stop me idleness there
Why ah doh go and get work to do
But ah does listen to the other voice too
It does tell me doh study it. It too damn fass
So I listenening
I still listening