Feeling connected
The other day I was by the fish market, and this guy came up to me with two bags of fish, cleaned and sliced and trying to sell me some. I kept saying I didn’t want any fish because I don’t like people heckling me to buy things. Anyway, this guy was a bit persistent, but not in a bad way. I was sold. A bag of fish which looked fresh and was cleaned and of a variety. There was something about him. Anyway, as I was taking out the money to pay, he said “ good people is good people”. And just like that I felt the connection. And I knew right away that I did right, buying that fish from him.
Some nights ago, I went to a club where a live band was playing. I was by myself and for the first time in my homeland, I didn’t feel right being there alone – not because I felt unsafe, but because I just didn’t want to attract any unwanted attention. But the band was brilliant and I took the dance floor, as I do. It is something in me. I just have to set me movements free…I have to dance. While I was there an acquaintance and spiritual friend of mine came in with her family and introduced me to her mother. It was the first time I met her mother. We didn’t even say much to each other. She joined me on the dance floor and we were the only ones dancing for a while. I felt the connection. It was as though I knew her well and we did this every Saturday!
Another Saturday night, at one of my liming spots, a young woman and three children came into the restaurant. The young woman was tall, slender, wearing a gorgeous long dress with African print. She had the kind of face one won’t forget – long, cheeks standing out, deep eyes, with a look of scepticism. Caution. The three little girls – her daughters I assumed – were dressed with care. Not in typical jeans or shorts, but in lovely floral dresses, their hair combed neat neat, with ribbons – even on the oldest girl, who looked to be about eleven or twelve – and that told me this mother still had some old fashion values in her. I watched her wait for a table and I somehow, even though I had no idea, felt that this outing, perhaps a birthday occasion or just to treat herself and her children – took a lot of courage and sacrifice. I sat outside casting glances, admiring how she dealt with her girls. I saw the finger talking and the eye warning, a few times, as she kept them in order. And for some reason, my chest swelled with admiration for her. I felt happy for her and I wanted to go and sit with her and get to know her- find out her story. I felt like I could relate, but I was discouraged, by my someone who thought my action would offend her. Someone who obviously does not get it. And even though I felt otherwise, I neglected my impulse. And now feel a sense of regret, because I felt the connection.
Those, to me, were real connections. Connections that cannot be learned, taught, sold or bought. The ones you either get or not. People try. There are those who take all kinds of Alchemy and yoga training, travel across continents to discover, feel, learn and try to teach this spirituality thing. For many it’s a job, a source of income. But this connection thing cannot be forced – not by any yoga instructor, masseur. Not at any retreat or monastery. I think it is a feeling, a force so natural and innate, that one either gets it or not. It is something special. Some people actually experience it, and when they do, they know it is special. Pure. Natural. Good.
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