Celebrating the final chapter…
Today I will take the time to celebrate this achievement. I don’t yet know how, but I will. Then I will move on to the next phase in this process. The next leg of this journey. For I am now at the crossroads, where I need to choose the next path. But ”… knowing how way leads on to way…” this journey is nowhere near the end.
I have come this far. I have paused along the way, to think, reassess, ask for directions. I have stopped to rest my weary self, have a drink, replenish, recharge. Look back on the roads travelled. Breathe. Smile. Laugh even, at the wrong turns – when often I was scared, terrified I wouldn’t know how to get back on track.
A few years ago I was driving from Morton, the tiny village where I lived in Lincolnshire, to Queensgate Shopping Centre in Peterborough. Though I had a vague idea how to get there, and everyone kept telling me to just follow the road straight ahead, never mentioning any of the umpteen turnings and roundabouts I would encounter. Anyway, as it happened, it was not a straight forward journey and I did take a wrong turn, which took me onto this extensive, nerve jolting, dual carriage way…four lanes of traffic zooming pass me little green Peugeot 306 at 80MPH!! Imagine me! Small island girl, from this tiny Caribbean Island, Grenada, with Maurice Bishop Highway the closest I ever get to a dual carriage way…ending up there! To say I was shit scared is an understatement! I nearly mess meself!! Luckily my very brave daughter kept me calm and very sensibly said, “Mommy let’s just look for the next exit.” Well the only exit I could think of is the bright yellow EXIT sign, lit up over the door when matinee over in Griffith cinema. And there is no asking for directions!!!
Now I will breathe, appreciate where I am now and acknowledge all that it took to bring me to this point – negative as well as positive. I look back at the people who might have looked the other way, no time to share a kind or wise word – I wish them well. Those who have walked with me, kept me company – thank you.
And as I fill my lungs with revived energy to steer me along, take me on this next leg of this long long journey, my weight is much lighter now – my water bottle almost empty, food supply low, I am looking toward that silver lining… (Waitrose had an outlet at the end of this road.. rustic bread rolls and Tuna & sweet corn paste..some olives and a glass of Rose. Ah!!!)
And the roads ahead might get even more complex at this stage, I know. But I am hoping that the knowledge and experience which I have gathered along the way, have armed me with a bit more confidence. Seasoned me a little. I recently posted a piece on my book Force Ripe maturing, etc etc… and someone commented, “enough already!” Well I removed the post. That’s how enough already I felt! It hit me real hard!
But I will keep breathing and taking one step at a time. And though this road is by no means one “…less travelled by”, and the leaves are well trodden, “I am praying the road I take will make all the difference.” And “I don’t know how my story will end, but nowhere in my text will it ever read, ‘I gave up.’ ”
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